theemptyholmes:

theemptyholmes:

theemptyholmes:

If you ever think your life is bad just remember that when my sister was born my mum threw up on her

She knows

She’s still pissed off at me and blame all of you

minccinorris:

the best fucking vine video ever

ostracizedpoodle:

*gets down on one knee* will you go away 

carrotsdonthavesouls:

#girlfriend #beautiful #socute #iloveher #makeup #girly #cutiepie #mygirl #mybaby #hehe #lesbunnies

She’s so fucking sweet to me, I love her so much.

vanillish:

dekutree:

rabioheab:

if you take the letters from “OBAMA” and change them to numbers based on what number that letter is in the alphabet then you get 15 2 1 13 1, which adds up to 32 which is the current age of former backstreet boy nick carter. if that doesn’t scare you, then you don’t know the true meaning of fear.

i can’t believe people think this person is funny at all

shots have been fired

chekhov:

Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I’m much more stressed than I was earlier :/

lampsarepeopletoo:

i read this whole thing in an elderly asian mans voice

theclearlydope:

Started from the bottom now we here. 

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

andrewhussiesbosom:

I AHvE bEEne luaGhIng FOr 39 YEaRS 

familyfriendlyurl:

IF U PUT UR EAR TO A SEASHELL U CAN HEAR THE OCEAN, IF U PUT UR EAR TO A HERMIT CRAB SHELL U CAN HEAR A TINY CRUSTACEAN CRAWLING INTO UR BODY AND TAKING CONTROL